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Question by acissej: How can I heal after a break-up with a great guy (Christian perspective)?
I have been in an on and off relationship with a great guy for the past five years. He is intelligent, sweet, hard-working, affectionate, caring, and very helpful. You might be thinking why in the world did you break up with this guy and to be honest I wonder about the same thing every second. However, the thing that he does not have is initiative. I just feel like I have to tell him where to go, what to do, what to help me with, what to do next in life, etc. He does all this things if I tell him to, but I don’t want to be pushing him every second. I feel exhausted all the time and I feel like he does this things because he loves me and not because he wants to. I also think that if I have to tell him to do all these things I might as well do them myself or be alone for that matter.
For all this time we have been dating he has talked to me about all these wonderful plans and dreams that he wants to accomplish but so far he hasn’t done any of them. He says that if I would be more expressive of my love (and I don’t mean physically) he would be able to do all this things I want of him, but since I need to see all those things to feel loved (all the things he is great at + goals and doing things to accomplish them) I always been kind of hesitant about actually marrying him. I need that because I am a very service oriented person and I am always thinking where I can help in Church and my community and what plans God has for me in this area. I am always involved in some sort of community service or church service and I feel I need a guy that likes to do all these things as well. Not to be busy all the time, but to serve as God called us to serve. Am I doing something wrong here? Am I being immature? I have not been on many relationships myself. Should I get back with him? This is the reason why we have been dating on and off for all this time and because this has always been a long distance relationship.
Another factor is that I become a Christian during the time we have been together. He did too after a long wait from me, but we are in different levels of commitment to Christ and that also makes me feel like I am the one leading the relationship and he follows. As I understand it (correct me if I am wrong) the guy is the one who is supposed to lead the relationship, not the girl. I don’t want to be with a guy who only wants his way, but I don’t want a guy that only does what I tell him to do either.
Please help! As you can see, I need answers from a Christian perspective. And if you are a single Christian guy that meets the qualities I am looking for please contact me. I at least need to know that these guys still exist.
Best answer:
Answer by MOs fishin Life is complicated like that, and even when we think it might be God’s plan, even his plans can change, later in life you will see. Keep your faith and things always work out for the best. But you are right a guy is suppose to lead in the relationship.
Good Luck and God Bless
MO
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Question by Christopher E: online dating…and this girl?
i began talking with this girl on the internet about 4 months ago…. i met her because my friend knows her personally and im planning on meeting her later this month at a convention.. WELL right off the back i liked her…she is very beautiful..extremely nice and caring..always knows how to brighten up my day..and we have soooo much in common……we agree on basically everything….BUT ANYWAYSSS…we decided to date each other about a month after first talking..and she told me im the only one she wants to spend her life with..and i feel the same…but last weekend a guy i know told me that he thought we broke up..and i told him that we didnt..and he told me that she told him that she was 99.9% sure that we did (because my life at taht point wasnt that great and i was having some serious issues at home)
but anyways she sends me this
because you were all “you don’t like me” and “forget it” and your display name made it seem that way.
and no i didn’t break up with you.. but i’ve really been praying about it for awhile and for the past month or so i’ve felt like God was telling me that i need to get out of it.. not really for any particular reason other than i really need to work on my relationship with Him, because if i can’t be where He wants me to be then i’m never going to go anywhere in life or any relationships or anything.. not even friendships. but.. i haven’t said anything because i didn’t want to hurt you.
but at the discipleship summit a few of us were talking about guys and stuff and i was really, really praying about it and i told God i wasn’t afraid if it was what He wanted.. and i knew it would crush you and me, but if it’s what He wants, i can’t argue. and ever since then i’ve kind of felt like this burden.. like i can’t go anywhere with God while being in this relationship.. and i really, really, really hate saying all of this because i have no idea how it’s going to affect you but i’m sure it won’t be good.. but i’ve said since before we were even dating that God always comes first in my life.
i wanted to talk to you about this on saturday but you wouldn’t talk to me.. and then you sent all of those messages and whatnot..
but i’ve spent the last month or so praying about it and the feeling hasn’t gone away.. i’ve put it off for a month because i didn’t want to hurt you, and that’s really the last thing i want to do but i have to do what i feel like God wants me to do.
..i’m really, really, really sorry.. just remember that love is patient.. and if God wants us to be together, He’ll bring us together when His timing is right. and i’m always here. always. don’t forget that.
….i’m going to send this now before i backspace it all out.. haha.
sorry for the novel and a half. and… everything else.. =/
we both share the same faith….(christian)……
i really dont know what my question is….its just what do u think about it???because i seriously love her alot…..and we only talk on the weekends becausei have no computer at my house only at my grandmas……….and i havent spoke with her for 2 weeks now
gah it sucks
Best answer:
Answer by ♥Whos is this?Mine now im not sure what it is you need help on seems to me you got yourself a plan and evrything all figured out…
Question by Damon: Are there any good singles dating sites online to find other Christians?
I tried Relationships.com, but there have got to be others. Ones like Match and True– there are so many atheists and agnostics there. That’s so hip nowadays. Thanks for your help!
Best answer:
Answer by Cheer What’s wrong with Atheists and agnostics. Why does that interfere with your search of a relationship
